On a late summer evening, my husband and I were looking for something to watch on TV. We stumbled across “How to Change Your Mind”, and my husband said “That’s by Michael Pollan. He wrote Omnivore’s Dilemma. Let’s check this out.” We were confident that it would be an intelligent look at psychedelic medicines, and we were not disappointed.
In the four episodes, we were amazed at how ordinary people, most of them middle-aged and beyond, were helped by these medicines. Some of the people were dealing with chronic illness, PTSD, or end of life – the big stuff. I had grown up with the idea that all consciousness-altering drugs were destructive and potentially addictive. This show blew away that misconception. I learned that psychedelics are quite different from heroin, cocaine, and meth. We were fascinated and both said “let’s do this”.
We found a wonderful guide for a first experience. She guided me first, then my husband a few weeks later. The details of what and how much I took aren’t so important. It’s the insights, new perspectives, and mental re-set that are important. My husband and I had radically different experiences, but both very profound.
I remember at the end of my journey, sitting on the front step waving good-bye to the guide, and watching the hairs on my arms waving like seaweed in an ocean current – also the incredible ease and relaxation. There was a release in my gut that I hadn’t felt in years, a letting go of inside tensions, even while I was quite bewildered at all the stuff that came up during the experience. That stuff included present and past life memories, explanations for some mental challenges, obsession with certain patterns, speaking in other languages, and leaving my personal identity behind in a state of pure consciousness that was completely new to me.
The experience got me unstuck, and gave me wonder and possibility that was beyond what I could have imagined. It brought up some very difficult things, but they are things that I was ready to deal with. I could see new paths to healing and spiritual growth that I might have not seen otherwise. It has changed the trajectory of my coaching career and led me to the work that I offer here through this website.
I am so grateful for that first experience and the many transformative experiences since. The ways it has changed my relationships with people and the world are also profound. In future posts I will write about the relational aspect, which is completely intertwined with the changes inside me.